


I Don't Want To Love Somebody Else

by xlydiadeetz



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, Vanven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-12 00:17:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2088492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xlydiadeetz/pseuds/xlydiadeetz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been three years since the last time he saw him laugh. Three years surrounded by white walls and linoleum floors smelling like disinfectant. Now, sunk in deep depression, Vanitas must muster courage and say goodbye to the lover he couldn't forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Want To Love Somebody Else

**Author's Note:**

> Re-posting from my Fanfiction.net account ^_^

**I Don't Want To Love Somebody Else.**

Day 1095

8h30am

"Good morning, Vanitas."

The dark haired boy looked up to meet his younger brother's eyes, those that were as blue as the deep ocean, and that relayed kindness and some calm he'd never been able to feel inside him.

"Good….morning." he whispered in response. He had been staring at the kitchen table for half an hour until his brother came in.

They stayed silent for a bit. Sora got himself a big bowl of fruit loops with milk, then sat in front of him and ate while Vanitas just watched.

"You know…." Sora started, "Roxas and I thought it'd be fun to go to the beach this weekend. Everyone's going, and by everyone I mean Riku, Kairi, Naminé….even Axel is coming. We were wondering if you'd like—"but he was interrupted by his big brother.

"I can't go, Sora. You all know I _can't._ " said Vanitas, a bit annoyed by Sora's offer.

Sora sighed and looked down for a brief moment, "It's been three years, Vani."

"Three years are nothing. His heart works perfectly, all of his body is in good condition, he just needs—"

"A miracle." Sora interrupted this time.

"I made a promise, Sora. I promised I'd always be with him, that I'd protect him." Vanitas stated, "I failed once, but I won't twice."

Sora was staring at him. Vanitas had changed a lot. He was really troublesome, and a very bittersweet person, until he met Ventus.

Ventus, aka Roxas' brother, he was the opposite of Vanitas. He was friendly, kind, calm, and even a bit shy. He couldn't, well, no one could really understand how that pair had fallen in love in such a short time. But it was true that everyone loved when they did. They were like one. Ventus had found the strength he never had in his partner, and Vanitas had found that calm and sweet side he lacked of. Sora was really happy when they started going out, because his big brother could smile and laugh and be himself around someone else. Vanitas had troubles at school, he never had friends, and he'd always skip classes and talk back to his teachers. Their parents didn't know what to do back then, and nowadays they still don't know what Ventus did to their son; though they'll always thank him for that.

The blue eyed boy thought, in that precise moment, that maybe he had no right to try and take his brother out with his friends when deep inside he knew Vanitas didn't need that. He just needed his boyfriend. He needed him back. And even if Ventus could not come back, Vanitas would always go to him.

"Maybe you're doing him no right. Maybe he just needs to be left alone. Mourn alone, and then come back to us, when he's ready." That was what Riku had said the day before.

And so, Sora decided that his best friend was right, as he always was.

"I understand."

Vanitas looked up again, this time to meet his brother's compassionate smile. He frowned in confusion, and his little brother smiled even wider.

"Come back to us, when you're ready."

Oh.

Oh.

He just nodded and then Sora said goodbye and left. Said that he was going to see Riku, and then left.

He was alone.

* * *

 

"Sora, you're late."

He was out of breath, and Riku greeted him with "You're late." He sent a death glare towards him and his best friend just laughed as he let him into his house.

His friends were all there sitting in the floor around the living room table and studying for their math final. The last one before summer vacations.

"Hey Sora." Kairi smiled and moved herself to the right to make Sora a bit of space between her and Roxas.

"Did you ask Vanitas about the trip to the beach?" asked Roxas with a small sad smile.

Sora sighed and frowned a bit as he sat and rub his eyes. "I really tried guys."

Everyone went silent for a minute and looked at each other. Two people were missing in that moment. One of them was in a hospital bed, and the other was in a chair next to that hospital bed. They were all friends. They wanted them both back, but they just knew that they could only get one, or none.

"It's okay. He may go with us next time." Said Naminé and smiled a bit to ease the tension in the room.

"That's right, man. Next time, we'll make a better plan. Roxas and I can go to your house while he's sleeping; we tie him up and get him in my car. Before he's awake we'll be already eating ice cream at the beach." They all chuckled and Axel smiled.

"It's not like he enjoys the sun anyway. Nor the ice cream, sand, water, or people. " Xion made them all laugh once again and Sora smiled.

Xion was right. Vanitas hated all of that, and they'd probably be better without him since he'd annoy the hell out of them all weekend, but they still wanted him to be there. They wanted him to be there annoying them from under a palm tree. They wanted his insults back, his pranks, his sarcasm. Because Vanitas was bad tempered and all, but he was also loyal, and protective. And whenever you had a problem, you could just come with him and he's try to help you make your way out of it.

The door bell rang, and Riku got up.

"I think Terra and Aqua came, in the end." Kairi whispered with a smile and Sora turned to her in surprise, "They are back in town?" Kairi nodded, "Riku convinced them."

Terra and Aqua were Ventus best friends. They were two years older than him, and three years older than the rest. They were studying in a prestigious University outside of Twilight Town, so they could barely go home. Only during Christmas to see their parents, if they didn't had anything better to do. But they weren't always like that.

They were like one, the three of them, when Ventus was….well, before the accident. Even when they were away, they'd come every weekend to see Ventus, every holiday, Christmas, birthday….

Before the accident.

Sora was astonished when he saw them walking in. First time in three years. He wondered if they were okay. They were part of the accident too; Terra, Aqua and Ventus were driving home from a concert. Nothing too strange. No one was drunk, no one was stoned. But a truck driver fell asleep in a bad moment, in a bad place, and hit the wrong's people car. Terra was a good driver, but not miraculous. He was unconscious for a couple of days, but he made it. Aqua was really traumatized afterwards, and couldn't resist looking straight into lights because they reminded her of the front lights of the truck that came straight into the side of their car. And Ventus, well, he was the youngest of them all, and unfortunately the one who received the worst hit. He didn't come back, like Terra did. He fell into a coma and never woke up again since.

His best friends felt guilty, and a lot of things happened. That was one of the main reasons why Aqua and Terra decided to stop coming to Twilight Town. The other reason was, of course, Sora's brother. Vanitas told them to leave and never come back. He was devastated, and furious. Ventus wanted them all to be friends, and they were. Until, he was not there anymore to say anything.

They all missed them. Aqua was like…the mother figure of the group. Terra was wisdom himself. Like, a father.

Sora smiled at the thought.

Family.

They were all a big, very weird, and broken family.

"I'm sorry….I can't hold it back anymore…." Roxas said, taking Sora out of his mind. He had suddenly stood up and everyone was looking at him.

Terra and Aqua, who had just sat down, were looking at him like they just _knew_.

They gave him that look your parents give you when they know what you're going to say, or what you're thinking, or what's coming next in the story.

Sora looked around, but he _knew_ too. They all _knew_.

"My parents are going to disconnect Ventus." Said the blond haired boy in a whisper.

A whisper that came like knives through their hearts.

Roxas was quietly crying, and he sat down next to Axel this time. He pet Roxas' hair and whispered something no one else was able to hear.

Sora took his silver crown chain and looked at it. He wondered why then had they arranged a math revision session when they all knew what was coming. He wondered why there were math books on the table, mechanical pencils and chips all around the room.

"It had to happen." Murmured Riku next to him at which Sora nodded.

"A long time ago."

It's not because he wanted to be cruel, but it was _true_. Roxas was living with Axel since his parents couldn't deal with the loss of their son. Even when they still had their hopes up, doctors had already told them many times before that considering Ventus' age and medical story, he should have woken up already. And that even if he did, he was going to have many neurological issues that he may not recover from. It was the best for them, for Roxas, Vanitas and their big, weird and broken family.

They had to let him go.

* * *

"Hey…Ven. Sorry I'm late today, I overslept again."

Vanitas smiled and took a sit next to the bed where his boyfriend had been laying for 1095 days.

"Sora told me he's going to the beach with Roxas. Remember when we joked about our little brothers being together as well? I think Sora likes Kairi way too much. And Roxas and Naminé are too shy but everyone knows they like each other. I guess everyone's just waiting for that day when they finally lick and eat their faces. "He chuckled and stroke Ventus' hand with his thumb.

"It'd be good if you just….you know, opened your eyes….and….got excited for that trip to the beach….I'd be really annoyed but in the end we'd go anyway, right? We'd go….anyway."

He closed his eyes and took a breath to avoid crying. Still, the tears came out and made their way down his cheeks.

"Ventus! Wake up! Ven!" Vanitas wanted to shake him, to _oblige_ him to open his eyes.

But he couldn't.

No matter how many times he screamed and called out his name, how many times he grabbed his shoulders and shook him, or how many times he'd beg him. Ventus wouldn't wake up.

"Vanitas."

The boy, who had just started to beg holding Ventus' hand tightly, turned around to see the doctor standing at the door.

"I need to talk to you." The man said in a very serious tone.

Vanitas let go off Ventus' hand and stood up slowly. He was weak. He had stopped eating; recently, he couldn't sleep either. Pills had stopped working, and he'd now spend his nights reading or just staring at the sky from his bedroom's window.

The tall man took Vanitas outside the room, and let out a big breath.

"Listen, I didn't want to be the one telling you this but….Ventus' family decided to disconnect him." He went straight to the point, and Vanitas liked that.

He also liked the pain he felt in that moment.

How desperate he started to feel, the panic rising in this stomach along with an unbearable pain.

"You…can't. They can't. They can't do that! They can't decide that! They have no right to!" Vanitas yelled back at the doctor and the people in the hall turned to see him. "You're going to kill him!" _How am I going to live without his heart beating?_ He thought.

"Vanitas…" the doctor started but Vanitas was pulling his hair out.

"NO! You can't take him away from me. He'll come back; he just needs time!"

_He probably got lost somewhere, that fucking idiot._

_Ventus, this is not funny anymore._

_Ven, come back._

… _.please._

* * *

The worst came that night, when Vanitas got home to find all of his friends in his house with his little brother.

_Ventus friends._

He had no friends anymore.

Everyone stared at him, and Sora couldn't say anything. Words didn't come out of his mouth.

Vanitas ignored them and started to go upstairs, until his eyes met Roxas'.

He stopped.

Roxas was identical to Ven. Even if Roxas was younger, they were just the same. Physically, at least. And it hurt to see him. It was ripping him apart from the inside. He could remember his laugh, his voice, his eyes, his hair. Everything about him. The way he always looks away when he's lying, the way he liked to wake up tangled up to Vanitas and the way Vanitas hated that. How he loved to eat sea salt ice cream and how Vanitas thought it was disgusting at first.

He loved Ventus.

And he loved the way Ventus loved everything Vanitas hated of himself.

"Why?" Vanitas murmured and Roxas just stared back at him.

"I'm sorry." The blond boy wanted to say, "I'm sorry. I loved him, too."

But as Sora, and as everyone else, he couldn't.

Vanitas continued his way to his bedroom and locked himself in there. He walked to the bathroom, locked the door and sat down on the bathtub. He let the shower run and allowed himself to cry.

He mourned as he remembered the first kiss, and the first time they made love. He mourned over Ventus shyness towards him, even after they had been one for that night. He pulled his hair as flashbacks of their fights came to him, and he felt an immense burn in his stomach when images of the last time they saw each other came to his mind.

" _Are you sure you don't want me to pick you up?" Vanitas frowned as he held his boyfriend's hand._

" _Don't worry, Terra said they could drop me off. It's gonna finish around one in the morning or so, there's gonna be traffic to leave the venue….and I don't want to make you drive at the hour." Ven answered with a small smile._

" _Well...alright. But even so I'm going to stay up waiting." Vanitas said with a serious tone._

_Ventus giggled, "Vani, you're acting more like my dad than my boyfriend." He said as he hugged Vanitas._

" _Shut up, idiot. I'm only worrying for your sake." The dark haired boy blushed a little and smiled as he resisted the hug._

" _I know." Ventus whispered and pulled away from his partner to share a kiss._

_The sound of a horn made them jump, "That's Terra. I'll see you later, okay?" He pecked Vanitas lips and then left in a hurry. Vanitas watched him get on Terra's car and smiled to himself._

"You didn't say goodbye; you have no right to leave, impolite jerk." Vanitas whispered with a bitter tone as he hugged his legs in the bathtub.

Sora thought it was better if Vanitas woke up to an empty home, so everyone left to Axel's. Since he lives alone, it wouldn't be a bother." But Sora had a hard time deciding whether or not he should leave. He knew Vanitas didn't want to be with anyone at the moment, and he knew it was better for himself to be with his friends. But, what's the right thing to do?

He stayed home, with his brother.

He wanted to be there.

Even if Vanitas didn't want to be seen, or to be helped.

He was there.

Vanitas spent the night crying and screaming.

He could feel his rage growing more and more as he looked at pictures of him and Ven together.

His Ven.

He hated the fact that….he had him for a moment, and then he was gone just as he had come.

"I'm going to die! I'm dying! This hurts too much, this hurts too bad." He yelled at the walls of his bedroom and let out a painful scream.

Sora, who was in his bedroom, heard the horrendous scream and ran to his brother's door, "Vani, are you okay?" He knocked on the door several times, but his brother didn't open the door or say anything.

"Vanitas, open the door right now!" Sora said as serious as he could.

Vanitas didn't answer.

By the time Sora managed to open his brother's bedroom, the older boy was long gone.

A sticky note was on the window, and the blue eyed one took some steps towards it to read it better.

" _I'm going to spend the night with Ven."_

* * *

_Everything's quiet, when I look you in the eyes._

_Everything's quiet, when I listen to your voice._

_Everything's quiet, when you take my hand._

_And I whisper your name._

_When you yell at nothing, everything's quiet._

_When you laugh with no reason, everything's quiet._

_When you speak softly, everything's quiet._

_Even when I apologize to you._

_When you're not here, there's noise and I want to scream more than once, world loses all its meaning when you leave._

_Everything's quiet, when I look at your face._

_Everything's quiet, when I know you're here._

_Everything's quiet, when I follow you close._

_Everything's quiet, when it's you and me against the world._

_When you're not here, the world quickly vanishes._

_I want to scream more than once._

_And my world, my world loses all its sense._

* * *

Vanitas entered to the hospital and ran to his boyfriend's room. He didn't give a fuck about the nurses and doctors following him and telling him to stop. He had to tell him.

He had to tell Ven.

" _V-Vani…tas"_

_Vanitas who had held back, thrusted harder into him._

_Ventus cried in pain and Vanitas got a bit worried for a minute, "Are you okay?"_

" _Vani…tas."_

_Ventus held to his boyfriend and nodded, kissing him. "I love you." He muttered._

He ran to the elevators at the end of the hall and pressed the button to close the doors, then he waited for it to go up to floor number three.

" _You're the only person I know that gets a cold in the middle of summer." Ventus giggled._

" _It's not funny, it's awful. Even so, it saves me from going to the beach with Sora." Vanitas said hoarsely._

_Ventus rolled his eyes, "I'll make you a tea."_

" _I hate tea."_

" _You hate everything, Vani."_

" _Except you. I love you."_

_Ventus blushed._

The halls seemed endless that night, and everything was in silence as he caught his breath in front of room number 358.

Vanitas opened the door, and entered. He had come to this room for three years. That's what his teachers would call perfect attendance.

He took a few steps towards the bed and stared at his boyfriend's still living but comatose body.

"Ven…"

He started and clenched his teeth.

" _Your friends, it's always about your friends!"_

" _No, it's not! It's always about you, Vanitas! You're a jealous freak who won't let me have fun with OUR friends!"_

" _They were never my friends! God, you're like Sora. Always thinking that this damn world and this damn life is about fairytales and the power of love and friendship. 'My friends are my power and I'm theirs' my ass!" Vanitas replied at Ventus with a furious tone._

" _Then go, Vanitas! You're free, go and love somebody else! If you can, if someone else can love you back. I hope you find them, I hope you find them soon."_

"I don't want to love somebody else!" He screamed from the top of his lungs.

* * *

Ventus' heart twisted and ached with every word Vanitas said.

" _Please don't be in love with someone else."_

* * *

Both lovers stared at the breaking dawn.

Both of them were in love.

One of them was alive.

The other one was dead.

And Ventus smiled.


End file.
